To Lay Me Down

Tonight is the night where you think about all the trials and tribulations of 2011 and how you rung in the new year last year. I've sat here for five minutes trying to remember how I brought in 2011 and I can't remember. That usually means there is a reason I don't want to remember.

So here's to bringing in 2012 sober, healthy, and ready to work tomorrow. Yahoo! I'm not making any resolutions this year; that way I won't feel bad when I don't reach them. I have a few goals I'd like to accomplish, though. I'd like to deploy through my job, I'd like to attend RMA (a mini college for the job), and I'd like to make it to Australia to run the once-in-a-lifetime Solar Eclipse marathon. This is challenging as if I do A then B + C become impossible. If I opt for B + C then A might have to come in 2013. But the world is going to end in a year anyway, right?

Oh yeah. Bringing in 2011 just returned to memory. The Fleet Foxes sing a song that mentions something along the lines of "what feels good last night might be seen in different eyes in the morning." We'll just leave it at that.

I would just like to say that I rounded out 2011 by doing something I truly thought I'd never be able to do. After 10 years of not being able to keep a monogamous relationship I've finally started to have hope in myself that maybe I can do it. Yes, you read that right. TEN years and I've not been monogamous in a single relationship within that time frame. I'm not proud of that and have been battling it for all ten of those years. I've been in a low-key, yet fulfilling, relationship since Mother's Day and it's been nice. It's funny what happens when you identify what things are keeping you back and then actually ACT on them. I've admitted, I've identified, now I'm starting to act. Maturity maybe? I don't know but reflect on the below into the new year. My mom has had it in the house for as long as I can remember and it hits home (hard sometimes). I love you guys!

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS Portia Nelson

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost... I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a habit My eyes are open; I know where I am; It is my fault. I get out immediately. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street. Okay, that's a melancholoy way to bring in the New Year. How about we end with this: